Passion and prudence

Carpe diem, daredevils and go-getters love to say. Opportunity knocks but once. And yet, for many a decision to be made, every exhortation to seize the day has an answering reminder to look before you leap. How do you determine which one to heed?

Sometimes, a moment’s hesitation is all it takes for the choice to be taken away from you. A split second of indecision can determine the course of the rest of your life, heedless of your entire being raging impotently at the sheer injustice of it all: What sort of evil usury demands a lifetime in exchange for a moment of consideration? What kind of cruel judicial system metes out a life sentence for a momentary lapse of judgement? Not even Faust got so unfair a trade; not even the Code of Hammurabi was so rigidly exacting.

But the wisdom of the universe is unhindered by the shortsightedness of human emotion, and time heals all wounds. I think I can say with reasonable honesty that I have lived my life thus far without regret. But every so often, I idly wonder at what my life would have been like had I not hesitated on what now appear to be turning points in the story of my life. What if I had chosen passion over prudence? Would I have been a happier me, more fulfilled, living the life I thought I wanted?

Fortunately, everything is clearer in hindsight. From where I stand now, the choice almost seems too easy. Maybe during that briefest of instants God was whispering to me a promise of something better, and without even realizing it, I had chosen to stop and listen. Now I just sit back, happy and unhurried, and wait for my destiny to come find me.

Oops. Now what?

Funny how some things about yourself dawn on you only when it’s too late to do something about it: you realize you’re walking on air only after half the world has already seen the kooky grin on your face, you realize you’re in love only after you have already hopelessly fallen, and you realize you’re not quite so pulled together only after you find yourself completely undone by the tiniest of nudges.

Why is this so? I wondered. Is there a point to a belated realization? And then it occurred to me: maybe it’s a chance for us to practice making the most of what we’re dealt. When what is done is done, there’s no way to go but forward. The inflexibility of limited options forces us to see how well we can bend and mold ourselves around, or even just barrel through, the road blocks to our happy ending. Some things you just can’t help, but what you do about them is entirely up to you.

I never realized how precariously perched my composure was until the slightest breath sent me tumbling over the edge. Now I know better. So this is me, dusting myself off and moving forward with as much grace as I could muster. Hello, world.

Cheap thrills and simple joys

Weekends were originally intended for rest, but today’s career-centric lifestyle has long since defeated the spirit of the weekend and forced us to cram the rest of our non-career lives into two lightning-fast days: family, friends, housekeeping, even personal grooming all have to wait till the weekend, and carving out more time just for rest and relaxation from what little that’s left is no mean feat. Rejuvenating body and spirit has become a precious commodity, which usually comes with the price tag of a swanky spa weekend getaway.

But it doesn’t always have to be so. Some things work better on your spirit than aromatherapy candles and exotic piped-in music (this coming from someone who, at one point, had a massage almost every week and had to go cold turkey):

Holding the hand of a child who wouldn’t let go of yours for an entire afternoon. With a child, you never have to worry about subtext and sincerity. What you see is what you get. So when your niece insists on holding your hand while she goes to see every single featured creature at the ocean park and then refuses to let you go when it’s time to say goodbye, you know it’s really for the pleasure of your company. If that isn’t refreshing, I don’t know what is.

Watching true talent at work. Spending 4 hours of your Saturday night at the salon doing nothing but wait for your mother to have her hair cut and colored doesn’t sound much like a good time, especially if you’ve just spent the entire afternoon being jostled every which way by busloads of grade-schoolers and their parents while at the ocean park with all 20-plus members of your family. But watching the stylist and colorist work on my mom’s hair with such care and precision, and then seeing the results when they were done, was simply amazing. It was like watching art unfold before my eyes. Just beautiful.

A good night’s sleep on fresh sheets after a long warm shower. One of my all-time favorites. The warm water relaxes tired muscles, and the feel of the cool sheets against warm skin is pure bliss. When coupled with the scent of freshly laundered and pressed linen, it’s a magic carpet ride to dreamland. Mmmm… sigh…

Waking up to a day with absolutely nothing on the calendar. A rare treat that must be savored to its very last drop. Carpe diem!

Truly, there are some things that money can’t buy. A refreshing weekend amidst the craziness of the pre-Christmas rush without ever once having to whip out a MasterCard is possible. Life is good.

The gift of receiving

Christmas is just around the corner (to many Filipinos, at least, 55 days til Christmas is "just around the corner"), and many have begun shopping for gifts in this season of giving. And while this blessed season has largely become impossibly commercialized and trivialized, some still stay true to the spirit of the season and immerse themselves in the joy of giving.

Growing up, we have always been taught that it is better to give than to receive. Later on some of us found out for ourselves that giving is its own reward: you get so much more than what you give with the pure natural high that you get on seeing that something that came from you can make someone smile, can make someone feel better about himself, can make a difference.

Still we live in a self-centered world. And yet, for all the apparent dearth of people who truly live to give, rarer still are those who can take a gift with the perfect happiness and appreciation of the ideal recipient. Though seemingly diametric opposites, pride and feelings of unworthiness can both keep a person from receiving a good gift well: the instinct to resist being beholden to anyone is just too strong.

But just consider this: If giving is all about making someone happy, and seeing your gift so well-received brings such pure happiness, then doesn't it follow that one of the best gifts you can give someone is to receive his gift well? To not begrudge someone the joy of seeing that his gift truly means something? To look at receiving as something other-centered rather than self-centered might be a radical idea, but that doesn't mean it doesn't deserve some merit. If the mere act of taking something already means giving something back, just as long as you do it right, then how bad can it be, right?