Of chickens, eggs, and interesting déjà vu's

“A magnet for impossible relationships,” a friend used to call me. She is referring to the curious phenomenon of me still unattached at 30 years old despite the fact that you would be hard-pressed to find any point in my life from high school onwards where I am not in a close relationship with someone from the opposite sex. I had laughed it off then, like I always did – there are very few things we cannot laugh at, and this definitely isn’t one of them. But when history seems to keep repeating itself, a recurring déjà vu, if you will, it gets harder not to at least wonder why.

I’m something of what one might call “one of the boys,” and I’ve gotten along with them better than most girls for the most part. But for some reason, certain men are drawn to me stronger than usual, almost from the moment we first meet. Curiously, the one thing they seem to have in common is that there is always some reason or another why a romantic relationship with them is just not meant to prosper. Some reasons are glaringly obvious, others more subtle, but the bottom line is the same: every single one is a deal-breaker.

That is not to say, however, that these reasons necessarily preclude friendship, so that I have at least been able to form very dear friendships with some of these sons of Adam. (I love the way that sounds, “sons of Adam”. So regal. CS Lewis sure can write! But I digress...)

In any case, I’m beginning to wonder if this is some sort of a chicken-or-egg thing. Am I still single because I attract unavailable men, or do I attract unavailable men because I subconsciously choose to stay single? Hmm. I don’t know what good it would do me to ponder it, but it’s an interesting conundrum just the same. And I’m all about interesting conundrums. ;)